Episode 25
How to build a new habit (to get to a big goal)
In this mini-episode, I explain how to build new habits to achieve big goals. The key points I expand upon are:
- Have a compelling reason why you want to achieve the goal. It should be emotional and really matter to you.
- Clarify your identity - who will you need to become to achieve this goal? Seeing yourself as that person will help drive your actions.
- Use structure and planning, not just willpower. Put actions to build the habit in your schedule as non-negotiable appointments.
- Make the habit obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying. Ask how you can design the habit this way.
Show notes:
- A compelling reason needs energy and emotion. It should really hit you and feel important. [00:01:00]
- Identity is who you will be when you achieve the goal. It pulls you towards the actions needed. [00:06:00]
- Scheduling actions makes habits a non-negotiable part of your week. Rely on structure over willpower alone. [00:08:00]
- The four ways to build a habit are make it obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying. [00:09:00]
Get in touch with Sal
If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you.
Transcript
If you want to make significant change in your life, to do
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:something really cool, really
big, sometimes that can feel like
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:it's the most overwhelming task.
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:how on earth do I do this?
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:But actually, it's normally formed
of lots of micro steps along the way.
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:And in this, short episode, I'm
going to talk about habits and the
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:flow of habits to get to that big.
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:Lovely changing goal.
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:The thing that you might want.
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:Now it's a time of year when a
lot of us think about changing and
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:habits and growth and that is great.
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:So the, impetus is there.
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:What I often see is that there's
a lack of understanding of how
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:to deploy and make that happen.
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:And as with all things, a little
like the analogy of when someone
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:says, Hey, let's, cook some food.
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:You're like, Great!
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:What, do we have a recipe?
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:Do we have the ingredients?
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:What are we doing?
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:And then it all becomes
a very confusing idea.
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:In this episode, I'm going to give
you some cool understandings around
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:the clarity needed, some of the most
important steps which have been found to
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:be effective, and how you might go about
making some audacious, exciting change.
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:So the first step is this.
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:You've got to have a compelling reason.
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:Now James Clear, who's the author of
Atomic Habits, he wrote about this as
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:well as I think Charles Duhigg before
him, but pretty much it goes like this.
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:if you have or create a compelling reason.
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:That is one of the biggest sources,
the groundwork you need to make the
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:changes to get the thing you are after.
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:So What does that mean
a compelling reason?
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:Okay, so compelling
it's got to have energy.
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:It's gonna have emotion
It's gonna hit you.
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:You know, it's got to feel really
really important Otherwise, it's
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:just you know, I'd like to change
like to grow my business a bit or
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:I'd like to be fitter It's just
very ambiguous and it won't stick.
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:So when you get compelling, it's
really like wow, that's important I
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:really care So that's our first piece.
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:And of course, the reason
is, why, the why do it?
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:and I've coached numerous people
around the early stage of the year,
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:but of course, many times, who are
growing something, they're doing
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:something amazing in their, work,
or they want to go from where they
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:are to really push that forward.
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:And it's like, okay, we want the
growth and that's exciting, but why?
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:We've got to get clear on the why.
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:So spend some time looking
at your compelling reasons.
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:And it wants to have clarity.
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:So it doesn't want to be something
like I'm going to grow my business.
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:It wants to be something like I
would like to put 25 percent gross
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:margin on my business or I would
like to positively affect 1, 000
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:people this year in a healthy way.
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:Whatever your business is,
and of course there are many.
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:Be really specific about that.
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:So you've got the clarity.
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:You've got to have emotion with it.
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:So in my work, have the privilege
of seeing people overcome.
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:years of anxiety or lack of self belief
or, you know, difficult backstory.
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:I have a real privilege.
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:It's not easy, but when I see
someone change, it's just wonderful.
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:It really is wonderful.
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:And I'm very lucky.
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:And it's compelling.
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:And why, do I coach a
person through change?
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:It's because when I see them
become free of whatever's held
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:them back, it's just magic.
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:It's wonderful.
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:And of course, for my client, it's
even better because it's their life.
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:That's really compelling to me.
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:That's why I love what I do.
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:So find what's compelling
to you and the why.
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:Why do this?
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:So I'll cycle back to me.
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:Why do I coach?
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:Why do I do human performance?
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:Well, ever since being a young
boy, I never had what I needed
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:in this field around psychological
help, emotional support, mentorship,
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:understanding how the mind works, the
body works, the nervous system, all
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:the things I work with an individual.
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:So I needed, I needed to make
sense of the world and the
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:challenges that I found in life.
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:So I know that that was something I was
really calling for and it's a human need.
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:So now I've done the work, I'm old,
so I take all that years of experience
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:and I now share that with others.
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:So it's a very special thing for you.
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:It could be something else, whatever it
is for you, it's relevant to each of us.
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:So find your compelling reason.
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:Once you've got that, right,
we have got gravity now.
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:We've got something that's going
to pull you towards that goal,
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:that big thing you're after.
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:So spend a lot of time on this.
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:It wants to have emotion.
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:I would also say it could even
have emotion that upsets you
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:and gets you a little angry.
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:If we think about some of the things
in the world, the climate challenges
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:and that, many people are really
angry about the situation and that
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:anger is because it matters to them.
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:So while I'm not saying you
should be angry in what you're
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:doing, but if there's energy
around it and if there's something
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:like, Oh, that's really annoying.
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:I want to solve that problem.
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:Great.
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:That can be really volitious.
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:It can really push you forward.
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:So get your compelling reason.
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:And then we want to look at,
and again, big stuff here.
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:Identity.
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:Who will you be?
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:Because if we've got some kind of
identity block, around who you'll be
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:when that future, goal come to fruition.
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:It becomes your life and your business.
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:If you can't see yourself as that
person, that identity, you're
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:going to really struggle.
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:Again, I'll give a very personal example.
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:in my mid forties, I had a bit of
an epiphany that I needed to really
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:shift what I was doing physically.
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:And I was quite active at the time.
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:When I say quite active, what I look
at now is probably quite inactive.
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:But I was doing a lot of
yoga and walking and stuff.
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:And I got involved in CrossFit.
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:which really took me by surprise
as it was a whole new discipline.
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:But I decided by the time I
was going to be turning my 50th
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:birthday, I would be an athlete.
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:Now, I defined that in terms
of how an athlete lived.
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:Not so much that they had medals
and showed up for competitions, but
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:an athlete would train, diligently.
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:Every week, every month, every year, and
like an Olympian, they wouldn't just do
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:it for a bit, they would do it for four
years, they'd be long term thinking.
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:So I got in my mind, like,
I would be an athlete.
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:So if I live like this, I'll
embody the identity of an athlete.
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:And that changed everything.
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:That's allowed me to overcome all
the highs and lows of that training.
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:It allows me to train in
a way that I love to do.
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:Now for you, it could be, if your identity
is like, well, I'm just a solopreneur
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:right now and I want to grow a business
with a team and I want to really
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:make a massive impact in the world.
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:Well, then you might be a CEO
or whatever title that is.
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:Getting closer to that identity
combined with a compelling reason.
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:Again, these are massive
gravitational pulls to shift.
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:Once you've got these, two big forces
in play, then we can start to come to
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:perhaps some of the more strategic stuff.
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:Now, a lot of people think that habits
in any domain is about willpower
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:and just being diligent about that.
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:And actually willpower
is not a great strategy.
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:I recommend it particularly.
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:It's there, but don't recommend it.
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:I recommend structure.
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:So with structure, with planning, with
when do I do The thing that I need to do
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:to move you forward, it needs to go in
your schedule, it needs to be blocked out,
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:like a meeting, whether it's an exercise
session, whether it's a business session,
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:whatever the area you are growing into
is, it has to be scheduled, and it's,
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:it's a non negotiable, you don't just go
because you like it, you go because it's
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:in the diary, and if you're building
your business, or you're building your
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:health, you show up because it says so
in the diary, And you don't have to worry
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:about, do I feel like doing this today?
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:It's in the diary, it's what we do.
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:So the structure then becomes
the, in many ways, the kind of
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:the composite that brings the
steps together over the long term.
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:And that allows for continuous growth.
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:Now, James Clear, he's covered
a lot of this, and I've just
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:sort of briefly mentioned him,
but his work goes a lot deeper.
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:But he also spoke about some other things
about if you really want to make a new
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:habit, you know, a new way of being.
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:kind of four things and he
said that the first question
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:is how can I make it obvious?
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:So how can you make it obvious
to do the thing you need to do?
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:What is it you need to do and then
how can I make it more attractive?
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:So what's gonna make it
more appealing to me?
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:How can I make it easy?
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:So yeah remove the friction, right?
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:How can this be the easiest
version of what I can and
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:how can I make it satisfying?
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:Now, there's loads and loads
of ways to do this, depending
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:on what you're aiming to do.
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:The problem we have is that if we
get caught up in not following a
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:simple process, it's going to be
really difficult to put it in.
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:So those four I find are very
helpful just to dial back into.
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:How can I make it obvious?
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:How can I make it attractive?
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:How can I make it easy?
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:How can I make it satisfying?
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:And when you've got those On a
daily action based process, align
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:with your structure, align with the
identity of who you are and who you're
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:becoming with your compelling reason.
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:Oh my goodness.
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:It's a great driving force.
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:And if you simply take that alone,
which is still quite a lot of work, but
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:if you take that alone, the results
are likely to be really powerful.
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:So I trust and I hope that those
points will really push you forwards,
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:give you the energy that you need,
give you the focus that you need.
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:to make some massive change
that's going to be compelling.
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:It's going to be authentic and
it's going to be what you want.
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:So as always, do let me know on the
platforms you may be listening or
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:where you've seen this, your thoughts,
your comments and your experience.
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:And, I always love to hear.
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:So until the next time, take care.
