Do you own your choices? Uncovering the influences of decision making

Speaker: 00:00:00

Welcome to Mindset, Mood and Movement.

2

: 00:00:03

A systemic approach to human

behavior, performance and well being.

3

: 00:00:09

Sal Jefferies: When we think

about our lives, our businesses,

4

: 00:00:12

our actions, a lot of the time

we're thinking about our choices.

5

: 00:00:15

Now choice is such a beautiful thing, it's

a gift, it's a power that we all have.

6

: 00:00:20

But my invitation for you today is

to think about, is it your choice?

7

: 00:00:24

Now I'll expand.

8

: 00:00:26

So this came into mind recently with

many of the coaching sessions, but I

9

: 00:00:29

was working with someone and we were

working on them making a different future.

10

: 00:00:33

So we won't get into all the

details, but nice and simple.

11

: 00:00:36

We were taking them from where they

are into somewhere in the future.

12

: 00:00:39

Now, The way our mind works and the

brain, it uses information today,

13

: 00:00:45

right now, and it goes into the memory

banks and goes, Oh, what do I know?

14

: 00:00:49

So with my client, they were

wanting to change their future,

15

: 00:00:52

what I call vision thinking.

16

: 00:00:54

Now they said to me, Hey, I want to

go do this, this thing in this area.

17

: 00:00:57

And I said to them, Is that your choice?

18

: 00:01:01

And they were baffled.

19

: 00:01:02

They stopped for a moment and they

went, Yeah, of course it's my choice.

20

: 00:01:05

And I said, hold on, let me

just slow you down for a second.

21

: 00:01:08

Is this your choice today?

22

: 00:01:10

Is it your choice right

now about the future?

23

: 00:01:12

Or is it predicated and built on your

past experience and your past narrative?

24

: 00:01:17

And that opened up a wonderful

conversation to help this person

25

: 00:01:20

move to where they wanted to go.

26

: 00:01:22

So today's episode, I want to talk

about choice and is it your choice?

27

: 00:01:26

So let me expand.

28

: 00:01:28

I was, um, I was in the kitchen earlier

and I was feeling a little peckish.

29

: 00:01:31

Now what I noticed was one

of these, look at that.

30

: 00:01:34

Oh, it's beautiful.

31

: 00:01:36

Shiny red.

32

: 00:01:38

I think it's a Royal Gala apple.

33

: 00:01:40

It's delicious.

34

: 00:01:43

Now I thought I needed a snack.

35

: 00:01:45

So, obviously my body was

telling me that's the choice.

36

: 00:01:47

And I looked and I saw this apple.

37

: 00:01:50

So, I hadn't gone in

deciding to eat an apple.

38

: 00:01:53

I was drawn to it because in my

visual field there was the stimulus.

39

: 00:01:57

Now it's a simple analogy.

40

: 00:01:58

This is pretty much how

marketing and media works.

41

: 00:02:00

But something in our field of

awareness, we start to connect to it.

42

: 00:02:05

So let's expand upon this even more.

43

: 00:02:06

Another client I was working with who

was, Looking to shift their identity.

44

: 00:02:11

So they are a founder, like many of

the people I coach, and they're looking

45

: 00:02:14

to shift their identity from where

they are and the limitations that

46

: 00:02:17

that had to where they want to go.

47

: 00:02:19

And the big issue that we really had here

was they were holding on to the past.

48

: 00:02:24

And I said, well, you know,

again, whose choice is this?

49

: 00:02:26

Their idea that they needed to be this

particular person and they couldn't move

50

: 00:02:30

on was really not serving them at all.

51

: 00:02:34

Their idea was built from what

their parents had told them.

52

: 00:02:37

Their idea was built on

what culture had told them.

53

: 00:02:40

And they hadn't stopped to

think like, is this my choice?

54

: 00:02:44

So my invitation right now for

you is anything you're going to

55

: 00:02:47

be choosing, like you're choosing

to listen to spend time with me.

56

: 00:02:49

And thank you for that.

57

: 00:02:51

Is it your choice?

58

: 00:02:52

Now, of course, if you picked up

on the title and you're interested,

59

: 00:02:56

then it's peaked your interest.

60

: 00:02:58

But what we want to get into

as we're moving through life is

61

: 00:03:00

how do we make choices, which

are as clean owned as possible.

62

: 00:03:05

Um, I see this all the time.

63

: 00:03:07

I work in the space of increasing

performance, increasing fulfilment

64

: 00:03:11

helping people have a peace of mind.

65

: 00:03:14

That happens when we are living by choice.

66

: 00:03:17

So whose choice is this?

67

: 00:03:19

Now on another podcast recently,

which I can put some links in, my

68

: 00:03:22

business friend, Ben Johnson, we

were discussing his world peripheral

69

: 00:03:26

thinking, thinking on the margins.

70

: 00:03:29

And Ben shared a really interesting

idea with me, which is called lean mind.

71

: 00:03:32

Now Ben's work is infused by

Buddhism and other practices.

72

: 00:03:36

Mine, my work's infused by a

synthesis from psychology to

73

: 00:03:40

Eastern practices to philosophy,

many, many fields, multiple fields.

74

: 00:03:44

But one of the things Ben said,

and I've got the notes here.

75

: 00:03:47

He was talking about being intentional

with clarity, and it really struck me with

76

: 00:03:52

this concept about whose choice is it.

77

: 00:03:54

If you are intentional, like really

intentional, but with clarity, yes

78

: 00:03:59

it might be the choice that you want

to earn a certain amount of money.

79

: 00:04:02

You want to grow your business,

and that may be intentional and

80

: 00:04:06

built on the fact that, you know,

that's what you'd like to do to be

81

: 00:04:09

in a level of life that you'd like.

82

: 00:04:10

And that's okay.

83

: 00:04:12

The intentionality plus the clarity

was really revealing and this is

84

: 00:04:16

Ben's principle of a lean mind.

85

: 00:04:19

He also said about not holding

on, which is, you know, a very

86

: 00:04:22

Eastern principle, a very Buddhist

principle, you know, non attachment.

87

: 00:04:26

And he shared with me this thought about

that you don't have to let anything go.

88

: 00:04:31

You just need to know

where you're holding on.

89

: 00:04:33

And I was really intrigued by this

principle because if we're holding

90

: 00:04:37

on to an idea, If we're holding on

to a belief, if we're holding on

91

: 00:04:42

to an identity, client, you know,

anything like that, we are stuck.

92

: 00:04:49

And then the question gets

posed, is that our choice?

93

: 00:04:52

So around this whole premise, I bet

if we pick an example in your mind

94

: 00:04:57

about something you did in the last

24 hours, was any of it your choice?

95

: 00:05:02

Now, if we were in conversation, you might

say to me, of course it is Sal, I chose

96

: 00:05:06

to do this thing, I chose to contact that

person, I chose to make that decision.

97

: 00:05:10

But actually most of our choices

are influenced by people, parents,

98

: 00:05:16

culture, media, it happens.

99

: 00:05:20

The mind of the smart thinking person

says, I understand this and accept it, but

100

: 00:05:26

I'm going to clarify that and clean that

up a little bit and go, is that a choice I

101

: 00:05:30

want to make in this moment going forward?

102

: 00:05:33

And that helps separate

us out from the world.

103

: 00:05:36

Unconscious, or perhaps non

conscious way of living, to a highly

104

: 00:05:40

conscious, intentional way of living.

105

: 00:05:42

So whose choice is this?

106

: 00:05:44

My invitation for you is, as you

go about your next six hours,

107

: 00:05:49

making choices, wherever it is,

ask yourself, is this my choice?

108

: 00:05:54

Food you might be doing, something

you might be watching, someone you

109

: 00:05:58

might be speaking to, a business

decision you might be making.

110

: 00:06:01

Is it my choice?

111

: 00:06:02

And at that moment, reflect

on all the influencing factors

112

: 00:06:07

that might have built that.

113

: 00:06:10

And then notice, can you

clean that up a little bit?

114

: 00:06:13

Can you be intentional?

115

: 00:06:14

Can you make it your choice, even

with the influence of life around us?

116

: 00:06:20

Because here's what I know, everyone

I've coached that wanted more purpose and

117

: 00:06:23

more performance, was far more aligned

when their purpose and performance came

118

: 00:06:28

together because it was their choice and

like a cleaner choice as opposed to people

119

: 00:06:33

I've coached who've got to a high level

and gone, I've been really successful.

120

: 00:06:38

I don't feel that fulfilled as

a person, as a business person.

121

: 00:06:42

So it comes back to this

intentionality and choice.

122

: 00:06:46

Can we clean it up?

123

: 00:06:47

That's my invitation for you to play with.

124

: 00:06:49

Do let me know what happens.

125

: 00:06:51

Do let me know if you have some insights

around your choice making faculties.

126

: 00:06:55

And then ask yourself, is it my choice?

127

: 00:06:57

Can you own it?

128

: 00:06:59

Until the next time, take care.

129

: 00:07:02

Thank you so much for listening.

130

: 00:07:04

If you enjoyed the episode,

please subscribe, and if a friend

131

: 00:07:08

would benefit from hearing this,

do send it on to them as well.

132

: 00:07:12

If you would like to get in touch

with Sal, then you can go to my

133

: 00:07:14

website, which is saljeffries.

134

: 00:07:17

com, spelt S A L J E F F

E R I E S, saljeffries.

135

: 00:07:24

com.

136

: 00:07:24

Hit the get in touch link, and there

you can send me a direct message.

137

: 00:07:28

If you'd like to go one step further

and learn whether coaching can help

138

: 00:07:31

you overcome a challenge or a block

in your life, then do reach out and

139

: 00:07:36

I offer a call where we can discuss

how this may be able to help you.

140

: 00:07:40

Until the next time, take care.